tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
