dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
