i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize