I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
