The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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