i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
