my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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