went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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