I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize