now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
