hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
