I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
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You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize