I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
