He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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