your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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