Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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