Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're a waste of cheezeits
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
