i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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