"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
