i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He better not be in your backpack
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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