Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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