My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
they're like a gay fantastic four
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
