He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
