I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
