He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
