just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
