i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
