I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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