is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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