They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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