not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
