You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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