I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize