Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
