dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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