I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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