he wants to bone in the snuggie
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
