the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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