My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
