You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't shave. On purpose
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
