If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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