I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize