were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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