He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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