I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
