oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
