I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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