awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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