Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Randomize
