girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
