I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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