i just wanna soil my oats bro
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
