I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
