Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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