So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
