sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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