U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
