I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
